How to Hold a Baby

Yeah, I know what you all are thinking. You're thinking Hilary, what the hell is wrong with you? How to hold a baby? What kind of a how-to is that? Also, are you pregnant? 

I'll answer the questions in order:
1). I don't know.
2 & 3). It's a valid one. Bear with me.
4). ABSOLUTELY NOT. Let me say that again: NOPE.

As an only child, babies and children in general are kind of a mystery to me. I may or may not have called my mother while babysitting a neighbor's crying baby because I couldn't get it to stop.

I was young, okay? And to be honest, I'd probably still call my mother if my own hypothetical baby was crying and I couldn't get it to stop.

You really didn't think I couldn't not make a Supernatural reference on my blog, did you? 

It doesn't help matters that my dad's side of the family consists of only three grandchildren, myself included; and that my mom's side of the family hasn't had a new baby (up until this year, but I'm getting to that) for five years. Last time there was a new baby in my immediate family circles, I was still a teenager.

Hint: I'm not a teenager any more. 

Recently, my cousin Heather had a baby, and when I say recently I mean like a week and a half ago. This marks the first new baby that the family's had in a while. I had the opportunity to go and visit Heather and her newborn daughter, Scarlett, in the hospital. 

She is truly a beautiful baby, and I was/am amazed by this tiny little life. 

But I mean, I had no idea how to hold the baby. Like, a vague idea of cradling, but my mom and my aunt Susan were cradling the baby and moving the baby around from cradling her to leaning her against their shoulders and I was like, WHAT IS THIS WITCHCRAFT? I knew from my high school Child Development class that you're always supposed to support a baby's giant bobbly head because they certainly can't support it themselves, but I'd learned nothing about shifting the baby around.

HOW TO HOLD A BABY, according to an untutored only child:

1). Hold out arms to receive baby. 

2). Cradle baby in arms to give maximum head support 

3). quickly realize that the cradle position is not even a little bit comfortable for you, but the baby seems fine with it. 

4). Sit and cradle the baby. Arms start to shake a little. DO NOT stand up. Ever. 

5). Watch the baby squirm and worry it will start crying. 

6). Overthink how you're holding the baby. Wonder if the baby is comfortable. 

7). If baby starts crying, give it to someone who knows how to deal with that, because you don't. 

HOW TO HOLD A BABY, according to other people, mothers, and so on

1). You just know. Because you're magic and not an awkward only child. 

My mom and my aunt did give me something of a tutorial to try to teach me how to move little Scarlett around, but for the most part I was incredibly gun-shy and maintained the cradle for most of my visit. 

But then, something weird happened this last Saturday. 

I was working the market with AJ, and one of his friends that I'd met at his birthday party came to our booth. She had her two-month-old son with her, and I stepped out from behind the booth to look at him.

"He's so cute," I said.

"Would you like to hold him?" 

I took a moment to think about it, and then, to my surprise, said yes. 

She moved him from her sling and handed him to me. I put him to my shoulder, just like I'd seen much more experienced baby handlers do. 

I was shocked with myself. Where did these skills come from? 

I held him for a while, and then gave him back so I could work. And then, once things had slowed down, I held him again. And I was moving him around, shoulder to cradle to leaning against my legs, and I felt like some kind of wizard. 

Either I'm getting better at this game, or this baby is a magic baby, I thought. 

Me holding the baby while taking a selfie. Excuse the no makeup. 

I confessed to his mother as I handed him back for the last time that, as an only child, holding babies has always been kind of scary to me.

"Really?" she said as she tucked her baby back in his sling. "You seemed totally confident to me." 

I shook my head, baffled at myself and my newfound baby skills. But hey. If I've got them, I'm not questioning where they came from. I just hope I can handle a crying baby with this level of calm and expertise. 

We'll see. 

Ain't nothin' we angels can't do.