Adventures in the Unpleasantness of Blanket Statements of Exclusivity

I guess I should preface this with a little bit of exposition.

I've been taking some classes pertaining to Social Media Marketing. Last semester, during a lecture about how the Internet is Forever, my teacher mentioned that, at one of her writing/editing jobs, there had been a certain amount of uproar about a listicle entitled "[number] of ways that you know you're a Liberal Mormon." 

There was this low "ooooooh" reaction when she said the title of this article. You know the kind of "oooooooh" I'm talking about. It's the kind of "ooooh" that people generally reserve for the villain in a melodrama. The kind of "ooooooh" that you use when you hear about a celebrity getting in trouble for doing morally/ethically reprehensible things. It's definitely not the kind of "oooooh" that you hear at the mall when someone sees cute clothes for half price! 

It's not a good "ooooh." 

And then, one of my classmates intoned, "You should never mix religion and politics."

It took every ounce of restraint that I had not to just turn and throw the most serious shade that I've ever shaded in my life. 

I live in a state, where, arguably, the line between religion and politics is thinner than most. A lot of the people in charge are members of the same religion, and a lot of those conservative values are overwhelmingly held by the religious majority. And that's fine. In fact, it's fine to say that you shouldn't mix religion and politics! I'm inclined to agree. After all, that's what the separation of church and state is FOR (hypothetically, anyway). I'm all for not mixing religion and politics. I think it's a fabulous idea, if you can get it to work right. 

But the thing is: it's almost unavoidable. Almost. There probably are people who manage to do it, and do it well. I respect those people. But I also know that liberals do it. Conservatives certainly do it. You can't just say "you shouldn't mix religion and politics" when the reason you are part of whatever party/lean more one way than another is that its ethical and social views more closely align to your own personal religious beliefs, whatever they may be. 

For example, gay marriage. It could be argued that giving gay people the right to marry is against your religion, because your religion states very clearly in (book, verse) that it's wrong. But, continuing in that vein, it could be argued that denying them a civil union (performed by the government, not a religious institution) is mixing religion and politics. I'm not here to tell you you should or shouldn't support gay marriage. That's not the point of this particular post. It's just an example of the way that theoretically, logic should follow through. 

Or, for another example, changing the words "Christmas Break" to "Winter Break" in schools. I'm aware that a lot of people feel very morally strongly about this. Again, I'm not telling you you should or shouldn't agree with that particular point of view. But if we're not mixing religion and politics (which, as said by my classmate, should NEVER be done), then logically, it follows through. Because public schools are governmental institutions, and because the government is NOT a religious institution, it has to be Fair and Equal to those public school students who are not of a Christian persuasion and celebrate other wintery holidays, like Chanukah and Kwanza; and fair to students who don't have a religious preference at all. So Winter Break it is. At a religious private school, of course you can continue to call it whatever holiday break you want: you're fully within your rights to do so! 

Enough examples. The point, more or less, is this: Because you hold x religious/moral/ethical belief, you hold y political belief, because it corresponds. It fits in with what you believe, something you're passionate about, something you care about.

And it's still mixing religion and politics. It's equal and opposite mixation. And even if that opinion happens to be held by the vast majority of whatever religion/group, it's still mixing religion and politics. 

It rankled me enough that I've been thinking about it for months, trying to figure out the best way to approach it. Mostly because the tonality of that comment seemed to say: "you shouldn't mix religion and liberal politics." 

I could be wrong. My own personal history may have interfered with my thoughts on this matter. But on the other hand, I don't think that an article entitled "[number] of ways that you know you're a Conservative Mormon" would have incited the same response from the class or that particular individual. 

I'll just reiterate this: Just because someone mixes a different sort of of politics with possibly the same kind of religious/ethical/moral belief than you; or even the vast majority of whatever group/religion you happen to belong to doesn't mean that their system of religion/politics is wrong, and it doesn't mean that you/the vast majority DON'T mix religion and politics. Because you do. And that's to be expected. Because it's human nature. 

I'm not saying that I know everything and that I'm not guilty of judgement myself. I know I'm not sitting on a bed of roses having made no mistakes or offended exactly 0 people with my thoughtlessness or lack of self-awareness. I definitely have. But I think that we just need to be careful with the type of comments that we make, with so much surety that We Are Right and Others Are Wrong. I'm not suggesting entire self-censorship, or that we trip all over ourselves to be neutral and bland on the off chance that someone in the room might be hurt or offended by our particular point of view. 

But I don't think that blanket statements of exclusivity should be made in such a blasé manner, with no more thought to their effect as though one was simply commenting on the weather. 

I will say this: the religious and ethical beliefs that I was raised with as a child; the teachings of love, respect, tolerance and acceptance have definitely affected and mixed with my own political views. I'd like to think they've affected them in a compassionate and positive way, and made me more humanistic and empathetic. And I'm not ashamed of that. I'll never be ashamed of that. 

But you all heard the man. You should never mix religion and politics.  

Nostalgia: "Too close to let you quit, too far to comfort you."

It's that time of year again.

No, I'm not talking about mating season. Or watering-your-lawn season (ha, please don't if you live in the Western US. I mean, please). I'm talking about graduation season.

Naturally my thoughts get all nebulous and float back to last year, when I was the one walking across the stage, smiling through my teeth and panicking like a crazy person all day, until I crashed into my bed and promptly woke up with a very enthusiastic case of depression.

I'm pretty sure I anticipated feeling depressed after I graduated: if my posts from last year around this time on this blog aren't an indication of that, then I don't know what is. 

And you all know it's been kind of nuts and out of control for a very long time, and that I'm still dealing with it, etc etc. 

Said and done before and will probably be said again. 

My goal in writing this is to remind my soon-to-be graduated friends (especially those who aren't headed straight to grad school) of a few things. 

1) You don't have to have it all figured out. It's okay to flounder. It's probably less preferable to spend three or four months bingewatching Supernatural on Netflix, but I am in zero place to judge. Seriously. Zero. What I wish someone had told me is this: find something that isn't work, outside of your house to occupy your time, if not every day, then every other day. It takes the edge of the restlessness, and gets you out of your head while you wonder why everyone else has it figured out. 

2) Going back to school after you've left is weird. It feels weird. It's silly, because of course the workings of campus life don't revolve around you; and that is what feels weird. The school hasn't stopped because you're gone. There are still people there. And in four years, no student will even remember you spent time there. Your friends will be all gone. Your acquaintances will be all gone. Some of your professors will forget you. Buildings will all be different in the blink of an eye. It's just no longer your home. And that's ok. 

3) Everyone who looks like they have things figured out (and you hate them for it) probably don't have it all figured out, and chances are they're improv-ing some percentage of their lives, too. 

This transition has been one of the hardest of my life; and it's not even because I miss school. It's partially because I miss school, but mostly it's because I miss the structure that school provides, the security of doing something you at least partially like every day. 

But in a weird way, it's also been a huge growth period for me. I wouldn't have said this a few months ago, and I find it weird to say now, because depression if anything feels like living under a gross mossy rock with gross bugs and you don't grow at all. But being that depressed kind of gave me a sense of what I DEFINITELY DO NOT WANT. Because of that, I've started doing some reading about forming positive habits and learning how to be grownup, and shaping up a budget, and taking some extra classes from another school so that I have more skills, and actually feeling more responsible than I ever have in my life. 

Nope, I still don't have it figured out. 

But I'm getting closer, and I'm getting closer every day to reaching my goals. I bought myself my own freaking laptop! Before the year is out I hope to have either my own car and/or my own place, and I can guarantee by that point I still won't have it all figured out. I'll just be in a shiny apartment with a car payment and bills and it'll be fantastic, but I'll still be confused as hell. 

So, new graduates: congratulations, chins up, all that. You've got time to figure this shit out. 

And if you have a panic attack, feel free to chat with me. We can panic attack about Adulting together.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy a Star Wars t-shirt. Or, at least, argue with myself about buying a Star Wars t-shirt, because I'm an Adult and I have to be frugal. Right?

Ha ha ha.