Shaken, Not Stirred. One L, or Two?

James Bond had the right idea when it came to dealing with bartenders. Tell them exactly what you want, straight-up, so that the poor guy doesn't have to wonder if you want your martini shaken or stirred. Although I'm sure the subsequent phenomenon of people ordering martinis in bars like James Bond is annoying. I can imagine this scene in my mind where someone orders a martini "Shaken, not stirred" and then looks at the bartender like they're expecting to get a laugh out of a joke that's been told at least a hundred times before.

I know that feel.

Incidentally, I've had to adopt a similar strategy when telling people how to spell my name. My name is not complicated or particularly hard to spell. But thanks to a very specific potential presidential candidate whose husband was elected into office around the time I was born, it became complicated.

I'm talking, of course, about Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton, you'll notice, spells her name with two L's. I spell my name with one. Nevermind the spelling difference, nevermind that I was born shortly before the Clintons moved into the White House; people still asked my parents if I was named after her (and in the extremely conservative state I live in, they always asked it somewhat snidely).

As I grew up, I got more political jokes where my name is concerned than I care to admit; and, like those poor barkeeps dealing with the geniuses who make the "shaken-not-stirred" joke, I have heard almost every joke that you can think of, and I'll still smile weakly at them when they're made. Not because they're particularly funny, but because everyone who makes those jokes probably genuinely thinks that they're the first ones to make them.

It's a Yes. Nice effort, guys smile.

I feel like I should add a disclaimer, here: I don't think it's a bad thing to be named after Hillary Clinton. I actually like her.  I just happen not to be named after her. My parents merely liked and agreed on the name--although, when I started to be old enough to have opinions (read: toddler) I certainly didn't. It was nothing personal or political; I simply wanted to be named after something that sparkled or bloomed. Like Ruby, or Lilac, or Sapphire.

Yeah, I know. I was a very girly girl.

Hilary's still not my favorite name, and it certainly wouldn't have been the one that I chose for myself if I had been old enough to have a say, but I've gotten used to it. I especially have gotten used to people misspelling it. All. The. Time. If I had a nickel for every misspelling, I would certainly have a lot of money in nickels. Maybe not enough to pay for a year of my alma mater's college tuition, but enough for a used car. It happens at least weekly.

I've gotten used to just saying "Hilary-with-one-L" whenever I have to give out my name to important people like doctors or cute guys when I'm giving them my number. If I'm ordering from Starbucks or what have you, I obviously let it slide. I'm not that uptight that I can't take it if someone I don't know and is making coffee for me misspells my name.

On the other hand, part of me thinks that it really shouldn't be this complicated. I mean, why is two L's the default spelling for my name? Just because someone in the public eye happened to spell it that way doesn't (shouldn't) mean that's the default. And the thing is, my name isn't that elaborate or ambiguous-sounding phonetically. There are at least eight different ways to spell most names (especially girls' names) that phonetically all amount to the same thing. Not that creativity in name-spelling should go away, it's just, boy, do I get tired of the "One-L please" speech. As I'm sure the Katharines who have to give the "Katharine with an A" speech. And the girl named Jennie who has to give the "Jennie with an ie" speech. You get the idea.

I don't mean to get irritated about people misspelling my name. And generally I don't, unless you know me or interact with me on social media. Because it's kind of spelled out right there in all its single-L-ed glory for you to look at. If you spell my name with two L's on Facebook, then I know you're not really paying attention. I'll probably get over it, but I'll always be watching how you spell my name in future, and I'll probably give you a high-five if you suddenly spell it right without me having to tell you you're spelling it wrong. If you spell it right the first time, bam. Immediate respect.

I mean, it's my name. I like it when people get it right. As, I'm sure, does everyone. All my peeps with atypical name spellings, REPRESENT! What's the weirdest way someone has ever spelled your name?

Now, if you'll excuse me, MI6 needs me. And by me, I mean Hilary. Not Hillary. Or this guy:

Oh, the difference that adding an extra L can make.